About a month ago, the media caught wind of a phenomenon called “Women Against Feminism.” Women take selfies holding up signs listing the reasons feminism isn’t relevant anymore. The signs claim that feminists are man-haters and that feminism is no longer a legitimate movement because women have achieved equality. There are even some signs that express disbelief in the wage gap (If this is you, please see Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Wage Gap); these people I’m putting in the same box in the back of my brain that I reserve for climate deniers and History Channel conspiracy theorists. It’s labelled, “BIG BOX OF CRAZY. DON’T OPEN.” As for some of the other concerns expressed on the WAF blogs – there is a Facebook group, Tumblr page, Twitter hashtag, and various YouTube videos – Michelle Smith addresses them beautifully in her Washington Post article “Women who hate on feminists hurt all women”.
The purpose of this post is to address some of the most common claims that the anti-feminists are making on these sites: feminists are mean and put other women down (or some variation), and feminism hurts men. I’m going to now state the obvious: some feminists are definitely mean, over-enthused, and off-putting. It is a civil rights movement, and as in all civil rights movements, there are the angry members whose life experiences have made them bitter and combatant. But just like I don’t believe all Christians are going to grab a picket sign and join Westboro Baptist in protesting soldiers’ funerals, you shouldn’t assume that one individual’s point of view represents that of all feminists.
My next point is a little less obvious. Just like most Women Against Feminism, many who claim to be feminists do not truly represent feminist values. For example, if you’ve been attacked for being a stay at home mother by a “feminist,” that individual doesn’t understand some very basic principles of feminism. Feminism seeks out equal rights and opportunities for men and women, and if your choice is to pursue the traditional role of mother and homemaker, more power to you. But feminists want your daughter to have just as many opportunities for success as your son does. You’re on board with that, right?
There is also a general misconception that being a feminist means blindly following other women for the sake of our shared sex. Once I was in a Books-A-Million when a man next to me struck-up a conversation about the Ms. Magazine I was perusing. I’d seen this man at BAM before; he frequented the cafe, using the Wifi to watch movies. After discovering I was a feminist, a horrific conversation followed in which he expressed his belief that rape victims often “ask for it” and many rape reports are lies. After putting him in my BIG BOX OF CRAZY and unsuccessfully trying to unclench my jaw, I made for my escape. Then he stopped me with “So are you just going to vote for Hillary because she’s a woman? Come on. Be honest!” I explained to him with all of the patience I could muster that being a feminist is not voting for a woman because she is a woman; that’s actually the opposite of what being a feminist is. Being a feminist is removing sex from the equation and making an ethical decision based on important things like values.
I finally want to address the very important other side of the feminist coin: men. Since feminists want equal rights for everyone regardless of sex or gender, this includes men. Feminism is just as much about lifting the male pressures of bread-winning and stoicism as it is about releasing women from the confines of the home. It’s also not about denying male upper-body strength or chivalry – yes, they sometimes have to open the apple butter jar, and yes, I know that you like it when your boyfriend holds the door open for you. Feminism is about recognizing that we should all hold the door open for one another because it’s the decent thing to do. Chivalry is not just for men anymore!
Smith closed her article by saying, “It’s very easy for Women Against Feminism to declare that they don’t need feminism using the voice and powers that feminism made possible and which it continues to fight for.” I agree with her. I’d also assert that the feminist movement is changing every day, broadening its goals and becoming increasingly inclusive. Feminists are humanists especially concerned with gender inequality. All we really want is for you to hold the door for us so that we can hold it for someone else.
In closing, if you’re a feminist who’d like to show that we can be kind and cuddly, visit the Facebook page Women for Feminism, and post your own picture!
The Courageous Soul 